How to Build a Strong Relationship with Your Daughter

How to Build a Strong Relationship with Your Daughter

As my daughter continues to grow older (she’s five now) I have noticed our relationship rising and falling already. She is way beyond her age (which is scary and hard), she is stubborn, a little selfish, and to be honest can sometimes be pretty-bratty. She’s also so sweet, funny, helpful (when she really wants to be), and super thoughtful.

I worry so much about whether or not we’ll have a close relationship the rest of our lives. I would be naïve if I said I know we’ll always be close. The teenage years will be here before I know it and I KNOW things won’t be easy then, but I hope and pray that our foundation will already be established and strong enough to withstand our challenges and even though we will drive each other crazy at times, we will still have a good relationship.

The only way this can happen is if we start building that strong foundation NOW! She needs to know that she can trust me, that I’ll always be here for her and that she can come to me with anything. She needs to feel safe and secure with our relationship. She needs to know that she is loved and will always be loved no matter what.

I have noticed that as my children grow older my love for them continues to grow, but it’s growing differently than how it was when they were babies.

Having ages 8, 5, and 18-month aged children at home has really made me come to this realization. To be honest I don’t really like it. I have noticed my love for each one of them is different and how I am on a different level with each of them. That sounds terrible to say and I don’t mean it the way it sounds…it’s hard to explain.

This is a strange and new experience for me having a wide range of ages in my home, so I am not used to feeling all the emotions that comes with parenting at this point.

When my children were babies my love for them was indescribable. They needed me all day, every day. I would wait on them hand and foot, and I loved every minute of it. I absolutely adored my babies and wanted to breathe them in every second I could.

Now, that love is still there as they get older, but it’s changing. They don’t need me as much anymore, they are becoming more independent. They aren’t wanting and needing me all day anymore. They are becoming their own, individual selves and I can literally feel my love changing. It’s hard for me to describe, but what’s really the struggle is letting it happen.

Love evolves. It’s no different than when you first start falling in love with someone. For example, my husband and I were so infatuated with each other at the beginning, we never wanted to be apart. We were so in love that I never thought it was possible to love him any more than that, but I do.

Our love has changed over these past 10 years of being together. The infatuation has faded quite a bit, but the love is stronger than ever before. It’s grown firmly into admiration of our history together as a couple. We’ve experienced and endured so much that it’s made our love for one another become more solid and real.

That’s how I feel with my daughter. Over the years our love has developed a history, it has bonded us in ways that can never be erased. Our love is maturing and changing into a real relationship with memories that are intact. The cute puppy love (the baby love) is fading out and the real relationship love is fading in.


I don’t like change. It’s hard for me. I have a hard time adapting and letting go. This is the time where I can either make or break my relationship with my daughter. I know without a doubt that I don’t want to break it. So, I’m going to do all that I can to continue to build a strong, loving relationship.

Some days are harder than others. We butt heads a lot. She can be quite difficult, and it’s either her way or no way, but as the days keep moving forward I am realizing more and more that my control over her is dwindling quickly. She is becoming an individual now, someone who needs to make her own choices and learn from her own mistakes. She needs to fall in order to fly.

It’s so hard to loosen that rope though and let her make her own decisions. I feel the more I loosen that rope the more she won’t need or want me, and I’ll lose her forever.

So, I’ve made it a priority to build and strengthen my relationship with my daughter; to rediscover our evolving love for each other and make it stronger than ever!

 

HOW TO BUILD A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DAUGHTER

  • Spend quality one on one time with her daily (if possible.) If it’s not possible to have the one on one time because of other littles at home, then spend time with all of them. Just spend time together. It doesn’t have to be long, 20 minutes is plenty, but this is something she’ll remember forever.
  • Go on dates with her at least once a month, if possible. I know, this can be financially difficult, or schedules can make this difficult as well, but if you take her out on dates when you can this will bring you closer together by making memories with just the two of you. Plus, it’ll make her feel super special and will be something she’ll never forget.
  • Snuggle as long as she’ll let you! My favorite time of the day is when we snuggle in bed together, or on the couch. She’s a snuggle bug too and I love it!
  • Be there for her ALL THE TIME! If you are busy doing something and she approaches you to talk to you about something, stop everything you’re doing look her right in the eyes and listen to her. Show her she’s number one and nothing is more important than her.
  • When she comes to you with a mistake she made, don’t get angry. Talk it out. It’s ok to show your disappointment and to let her know that, but don’t be angry.
  • Praise her for all the things she tries at. Show her that trying is all that matters, no matter what the outcome is.
  • Be there for her day and night and make sure she knows it!
  • Talk to her! Ask her tons of questions about her interests, school, her likes, her dislikes, ask if she has any questions about life that she doesn’t understand. Have an open relationship that she feels she can come to you with anything.
  • Learn about her interests so you can understand her more and bond over her them. Better yet, have her teach you about her interests.
  • Love her hard, especially on the bad days. Point it out to her, help her realize that even if she’s crabby you still love her so much!
  • Write her notes in her books, lunch, or backpack when she’s old enough to read.
  • Make her feel special and unique.
  • Make her feel that your family will fall apart without her. Show her that her life has meaning, and she has a special role in it.
  • Teach her how to be a lady and to always be kind and respectful to others.
  • Don’t force it. Let your relationship build naturally and have fun!

Change is tough, but you never know what may come from it. It’s never too late to start building a stronger relationship with your daughter.

If you have any ideas on how to build a stronger relationship, please comment. I’d love to hear them.

If you’d like to read a very similar post on how to build a strong relationship with your son go HERE

As your daughter grows older your love and relationship changes. In order to maintain a long lasting and strong relationship with her you have to start now. Here are some great tips on how to do that. tessatomom.com

 

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How to Handle Aggressive Behavior in a Toddler

And, so it begins…when your toddler hits around 18 months possibly earlier or a little later they’ll start to show their emotions and feelings through actions.  These actions can be positive, like giving hugs, kisses, and snuggles; but these can also be negative, like biting, hitting, kicking, pushing, and throwing things.

This is such a hard thing to handle and get under control because they don’t know better and teaching a toddler right and wrong is a slow process.

Have you ever had anxiety over your toddler being around other toddlers for the fear of them hurting them? I know I have!

In my religion (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) when your child turns 18-months they’re able to go to nursery, so the parents can attend the rest of their meetings kid free. I remember countless moments of being so nervous leaving my child in there without me because of the fear of them hurting someone else and having a total meltdown. I am actually going through this right now with my twins (and I have two to worry about, so double the anxiety. AHHH!)

I feel so vulnerable when I need to let my kids go and have other people take over for a while. I always hope (worry more than hope) that my kids will make good decisions and be kind and respectful to others. This worry even comes with my toddlers and they’re just babies and don’t even know what’s right from wrong yet, but I still worry.

One thing I have noticed with having twins is that they’re more aggressive than my other kids were at their age. I think it’s because they have someone their exact same age wanting the exact same things they have, so they get more frustrated having things constantly taken from them and their attention constantly being shared.

My twin son is a biter, pusher, and kicker. My twin daughter is a biter (only if you put your fingers in her mouth, which her brother does all the time), hair puller, and hitter.

It’s so heartbreaking to hear that blood curdling cry when one of them bite each other or whatever else it may be. I get nervous leaving them in a room together.

The last couple months I have felt it’s been getting better though, and I think this is why.

 

HOW TO HANDLE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR IN A TODDLER

1. Never hit or spank your toddler when you’re correcting them- This goes for EVERYTHING! If your toddler is playing with an outlet, dumping food all over the floor, playing in the garbage can or toilet, biting someone, whatever naughty thing it may be, DO NOT hit their hand or spank their bum or show any form of aggression towards them when correcting them. This teaches them to do the same thing back when they are frustrated. Try getting down to their level and gently take both of their hands into yours and say, “Ouchie. Biting hurts” (or whatever it is they did.) Or “Uh oh you made a mess, let’s clean it up.” Or “Yucky, toilet water is yucky.” I know they don’t exactly understand the words coming out of your mouth, but they will.

2. Kids, even toddlers model our behavior- Not only do they model our behavior, but they model the behavior of other kids as well (like older siblings or kids at daycare.) I am kind of a freak out type of person (horrible flaw, I know!) I get frustrated easily and I am not shy of showing of it. I have noticed this has rubbed off on my children a lot and I feel terrible for creating this in my children, but I have noticed that when I keep my cool, they keep their cool a lot more. Be aware of your actions in certain situations and try to do better at handling them in front of your children. When you’re alone by all means do whatever you want, curse if you have to haha! 😊

3. Be consistent- Make sure you’re being consistent in your behavior on reacting to situations and correcting situations. If you’re calm a lot with certain happenings and then all-of-a-sudden freak out or vice versa, it’s confusing to a child. Of course, we all have our breaking points and that’s ok; we’re not perfect and deserve to have freak out moments occasionally, but make sure you’re more consistent in the positive reactions than the negative ones.

4. Distracting them can be a lifesaver- If your toddler is doing something they shouldn’t, try distracting them or playing with them. This can seriously work wonders.

5. Don’t make it a game- Sometimes when your toddler is doing something naughty and you give them attention for it they think you’re playing with them and they make it a game where they continue to do the same thing over and over again, if this happens take them away from whatever it is they’re doing and play with them in a positive way with toys or read a book. Don’t let them think that the negative things they’re doing is a game or fun.

6. Teach them empathy and to apologize young- If your toddler hurts someone in any way, get down to their level, hold their hands and say “Ouchie. That hurt her/him, look they’re sad.” Take them to the person and teach them to say sorry. I know this could be difficult with a toddler, but if you’re consistent they’ll catch on quickly that what they did hurt someone.

7. Remember that this is out of your control- Keep reminding yourself that this isn’t your fault. This is something a lot of kids go through and can’t be helped. Keep being a good example, keep teaching them, and keep being patient. They will outgrow it. I know saying this doesn’t make it easier. It can be very difficult and stressful to have a child with aggression, but over time it will get better.

I often wonder where this aggression comes from. I often blame myself and think I’ve done something wrong, but I really do believe that some kids just have it in them more than others and it’s just something we have to work through with them.

I like to think it’s because my kids are smarter mentally than verbally and so they can’t communicate their feelings properly haha. Seriously though could you imagine how frustrating it would be to know exactly what you want, but you can’t communicate it.

Hang in there and know you’re not alone.

If you have any ideas to help handle aggressive behavior, please share!

For tips on how to tame your toddler’s tantrums go HERE

 

Your toddler's at that age where all their emotions come out in their actions...they start biting, hitting, pushing...what do you do? Here are some ideas on how to handle it. tessatomom.com
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How to Deal with the Frustration That Comes with a Toddler

How to Deal with the Frustration That Comes with a Toddler

Having an infant is hard, they cry a lot, their attitudes are unpredictable, there’s lack of sleep on both sides, and you experience lots of worry.

Having a toddler though is a whole new ball game. The toddler years are hard, really hard! Have you ever heard of the “terrible two’s?” Well…I think it’s the “trying two’s” and “terrible three’s.” It honestly gets harder before it gets easier.

When your baby turns 18 months this is when it all starts. They are becoming smarter and starting to figure things out more. Outlets are their best friend and they get into EVERYTHING!!!! All these things just get worse as time goes on until they hit the age where they learn what’s not ok and what is and even then, you’d be lucky if they listen. My five-year-old still does things that are extremely shocking to me that she should know not to do.

With that being said; it may be super hard, and you may spend your entire day trying to keep them alive and trying to keep your house from not being completely destroyed; but this age is so fun too! Their personalities are really starting to come to life and it continues to grow more and more each day. It’s just an amazing thing to witness them grow into little people.

Thank heavens these little terrors are cute, or I bet the hard times would be so much harder.

Right now, what I’m personally dealing with, is my 20-month-old twins getting into EVERYTHING!

We’re renting, so I can’t lock up my cabinets because we can’t put holes in them and there is no hardware on the outside. It is so challenging. I obviously have put everything dangerous up high where they can’t touch it, but it gets exhausting having them pull everything out of every cupboard and drawer 15 times a day.

My biggest challenge is our Lazy Susan we have. I have a good portion of our food in it and I have no-where else to put it, and they get into it all day long (mainly my son, he’s a piglet!)

The other day I came into the kitchen to find he had dumped an entire bag of pretzels onto the floor and they were sitting in the pile eating them.

Of course, I hurried to take a picture and just laughed, but when things like this are happening multiple times a day, it gets really-tough, and I just want to hide in my room and cry!

There are days I feel like I don’t do one thing besides chase them around and clean up after them.

I know this is a little more challenging for me because I have two destroyers, but I remember even when I had one how difficult it was.

The constant crying, whining, needing me, wanting me, it gets exhausting. I feel so terrible to complain because I know this is what motherhood is all about and I should enjoy every second because they grow up so fast.

So many older, wiser mothers tell me I’ll miss these days of dirty, sticky finger prints all over the walls, food crumbs all over the house, the laughter, the tears, and the constant noise.

I know they’re right! I totally and completely believe them! I know I’ll miss these days and they are coming sooner rather than later, but it doesn’t take away the daily frustrations that come along with parenting.

It doesn’t take away that I still have other things on-a-daily basis that need to be done and I have other priorities and responsibilities besides my toddlers (like church callings, household duties, family members/friends needing help with things, my older children needing me, my husband, just other life things.)

It’s hard to juggle it all and then when our toddler does something that’s frustrating it throws fuel on the fire.

I think that our frustration with our toddler’s stem from a much bigger frustration than simply it being our toddler that’s causing it.

I think that there are underlying factors creating our frustrations and whatever it is our toddlers do next push us over the edge.

Which bring us to this…


 

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE FRUSTRATION THAT COMES WITH A TODDLER

  • Figure out what is really frustrating you– Is there something your husband did that’s bothering you? Are there upset feelings you’re experiencing towards family members, friends, or neighbors? Are there to many things on your list that need to be done with little time to do them? Figure out the root of your frustration.
  • Fix it– Whatever the root of the frustration is…fix it. If there are many roots, fix one at a time.
  • Vent/Communicate– One of the biggest things to help ease your frustrations is talking about them. Get it all off your chest and start fresh the next day.
  • Sleep– make sure you’re getting a good night’s rest (easier said than done with littles, I know, but try.)
  • Make time for your spouse- It’s so important to make sure you are connecting with your spouse and getting your needs met there.
  • Make time for yourself- This one can seriously feel almost impossible at times, but it’s crucial and it’s not a selfish act. This helps so much and is so important. You need to take time for yourself and do things you love besides being a wife and mother.
  • Get away to recharge your batteries- This can be challenging to arrange, but over-night stays with your spouse, friends, or sisters can really help you recharge your batteries. It’s good for your kids to have breaks from you too!
  • Let things go- This is a struggle for me, but it really helps the days I actually do it. Just let things go, let your house go, let the laundry go, let your to do list go. Take a day off and play with your kids, reconnect and have fun, there’s always tomorrow.
  • Exercise- If you can even find time for this, heck if you can find the energy for this it’ll really help relieve tension and frustration. It just makes you feels good.
  • Baby proof your house the best you possibly can- If you can minimize the messes and all the things they get into and do that drive you bonkers, then things will be so much easier. If this is a difficult task to do because you don’t have the space, or you literally can’t because you’re renting, then get creative at figuring out how to help minimize what frustrates you. If you have to literally put everything in a box everyday that’s in your lower cupboards and stick it in your room, then do it. It won’t be forever, just until they grow out of the phase of getting into everything.
  • Find the sweetness- Every time you get frustrated with your toddler over something they do, find the sweetness before you speak to them. Look into their adorable face and gentle eyes and remind yourself they don’t know better and teach them, have them help you clean up the mess.
  • Take a break- When everything is going to poop…the house is a disaster, lots of tantrums are being thrown, tears and screaming won’t let up…TAKE A BREAK! Take your toddler outside and take a break, go for a walk, go jump on the tramp, go play in the backyard, go for a drive, go to a park. Get out of the house!  They need breaks just as much as we do. They get tired of being cooped up inside all day and they like change of scenery.

There you have it. I hope some of these tips are helpful to you. I know they are no-brainers, but sometimes reading them and having a refresher can really help.

Remember that you’re not alone. It is so natural and normal to feel frustrated with your toddlers. This is a very hard stage because they are right in the middle of learning things and understanding things, but don’t fully understand the outcomes of the things they’re learning.

The toddler years take a lot more time and patience. Find joy in them though because they can be so much fun too! Focus on the fun and do the best you can. Make time for yourself and give yourselves breaks. You deserve them!

 

Having a toddler can be so hard and frustrating at times. Here are some ideas on how to deal with that frustration. tessatomom.com
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How to Earn Respect from Your Children

I have always been told by my parents (I’m constantly being reminded by them today) that I need to respect my elders. They tell me that I should always be respectful to my parents, grandparents, and elders around me no matter what the circumstances or how I am treated in return.

They even pull the card that the commandment is to “Honour thy father and thy mother.”

We had a big conversation one time about how this is the problem with the world today. That this younger generation has no respect for anyone or anything and they feel entitled to everything.

I don’t fully agree with this. I feel in order to have respect you have to give respect no matter what the age. I also feel that we are all equals no matter how old we are, EVERYONE should be treated with kindness and respect.

I do feel this generation is lacking respect, but I feel a lot of this is because they don’t receive it and don’t have good examples of what respect is.

It is beyond difficult to be kind and respectful to someone who is constantly disrespecting and belittling you. It is difficult to connect with them, and to build a strong, trusting relationship with them if you don’t feel respected, loved, seen, heard, and important.

Have you ever looked up the definition of respect?

Respect– a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Maybe what’s wrong with the world is they don’t understand what the meaning of the word respect is.

If we truly base our attitude towards another off of this definition then it can be a little more difficult to have respect for  someone because it can be difficult to admire everyone based on their abilities, qualities, and achievements.

What we need to do is just show kindness to everyone. The definition of kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. So, the word kindness should be replaced with the word respect and the word respect should be replaced with the word admire. That would make a lot more sense.

With all that nonsense being said my point is if you aren’t kind or respectful to someone, even your children then don’t expect to have other people be kind and respectful in return. A relationship is a two-way street, it takes two people to make it work.

Another thing that is really important to understand is that your children learn by example. If you are teaching your children and showing them that you are a kind and respectful person, then they will follow that example and be kind and respectful as well.

I truly believe that children are naturally kind at heart. They are innocent and pure. They are too little to have had the world corrupt them yet, so if anything, we can probably learn more from them, than they can learn from us.

If your child is pulling attitude and being disrespectful I feel that there is a deeper issue going on and they don’t know how to properly show their emotion they are actually feeling. This can be really hard to get to the bottom of and figure out because children’s brains, emotions, feelings, and actions aren’t fully developed, and they can really struggle with expressing themselves properly. Most of them don’t even know how to explain what they’re feeling.


When my children are being disrespectful these are the things I have noticed that could be the cause of it:

-They don’t feel understood and listened to

-They feel neglected and are needing one on one time

– They are tired, hungry, or bored

– They’re experiencing frustration with a different situation, but haven’t vocalized that or even realized that’s the problem

– They’re over stimulated

Those are just a few things I have really noticed with my own children. It’s really hard to determine what one it is and it’s hard to resolve the problem, but the more you get to the bottom of why they are acting this way the more they become aware of their emotions and how to handle them.

It can be a challenge when your child is disrespectful, especially if it is something that is happening on a daily basis. It can put a wedge between your relationship and can cause your closeness to fade. It can cause you to question if they love you, if you’re doing something wrong, if you are causing this, it can even sometimes bring up bitter feelings towards them. That sounds terrible to say, but it’s true, at least it is for me.

When you are consistently being disrespected negative feelings and thoughts can emerge towards that person, even if it is your child who’s treating you this way. No one wants to be treated badly, especially by the people they love most and do absolutely everything for.

I hope I am not the only that feels this way. If so, I feel so embarrassed right now for admitting all this. I know how immature and ridiculous this all sounds. To allow my feelings to be hurt by a little kid and to take it personally, but I’m only human. I live for my kids, they are my everything,  and when I am being mistreated a lot it can be really hard to not let it affect you.

 

THE BEST WAYS TO EARN YOUR CHILDREN’S RESPECT

– Be a good example to them on what treating people with kindness and respect is like

– Treat your own kids with respect and kindness

– Treat them as an individual who is important and their feelings, thoughts, and opinions matter

– Try not to belittle them in anyway

– Build their confidence through words of affirmation

– Teach them the proper ways to express their feelings and emotions

– Spend quality time with them and make them feel important

– Love them, take care of them, be a nurturing parent

– When you mess up, get angry, or make a mistake, own it and apologize

– Handle negative situations by remaining calm

– Show them empathy, validate their feelings, even if it’s over something silly

– Guide them in making certain choices, but let them have the final decision, let them experience natural consequences and be there for them when they fall

This all sounds so easy right, but when you’re in the heat of the moment dealing with your child’s attitude…sometimes you snap! Trust me this will happen more than once, and you’ll feel absolutely terrible for it every time.

You’re not perfect and that’s ok. Having patience with little ones can be very difficult at times. Simply apologize, admit your wrong doing and move forward. Lucky for us, kids are extremely forgiving and love unconditionally.

We need to instill these things into our children while they’re young if we are going to survive the teenage years, because if we think our kids are disrespectful now, oh boy we are in for a BIG SURPRISE when they are teenagers!

Good luck! Hang in there and remember you’re doing a great job! Remind yourself that your child’s behavior doesn’t always reflect on you, sometimes kids just take longer to develop control over their emotions, they’ll get there.

 

Respect is a two-way street, it doesn't come for free. You need to earn respect in order to receive it, even with your children. tessatomom.com

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A List of Everything You Need After You Give Birth

When we are preparing for our babies to come into this world we become so consumed with making sure we have everything we need for them that we completely forget what we need for ourselves.

There’s quite a list that we need to tackle to make sure we have everything ready for after we give birth to these tiny humans.

 

WHAT YOU NEED FOR AFTER YOU GIVE BIRTH

1. Underwear- I tell you this because your underwear will most likely get blood on it and you probably don’t want to ruin the kind you already have, so just buy some cheap underwear you can throw away afterwards. If you can get a couple of the mesh undies the hospital gives you, those are amazing, but if you can’t any regular underwear will do. You also might want to take into consideration buying some that go up pretty-high to get better coverage and if you do end up needing a c-section for any reason it won’t rub on your incision sight like it would if you were to buy the low-cut style.

2. Nursing bras- These are must haves. They really help make nursing so much more convenient. Remember that when your milk comes in you will most likely be a cup size bigger, so buy bigger. You will want some comfortable ones to sleep in as well.

3. Nursing Garments- If you are a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I highly recommend getting nursing garments. They are life savers and make everything more convenient.

4. Heavy Maxi Pads- The Overnight Maxi Pads work really-well because they go up further in the back and you have better coverage. You’ll be bleeding quite heavily for the first week after giving birth.

5. Thinner Pads and Pantie Liners- You absolutely cannot wear tampons after giving birth even if you have your baby by c-section, so you will need lighter pads and pantie liners for when your bleeding decreases. There is a good chance you’ll be bleeding for weeks.

6. Nursing Pads- As your colostrum and milk come in after you give birth you’ll need nursing pads to stop from leaking onto your clothes. The nursing pads I have found to be the most absorbent, less annoying, and most comfortable are the Lansinoh Nursing Pads, they are a bit more pricey, but worth every penny.

7. Nipple Cream- As you start nursing or pumping, or both your nipples will get tender and sore, apply nipple cream after every feeding or pumping session to help keep them hydrated and to prevent cracking.


8. Double Breast Pump- I say double because this will save you so much time than using a single breast pump. I highly advise buying a nice, good breast pump, they make the world of difference. Medela brand is amazing. Make sure you have the right size flanges as well. If your flanges are too small it will destroy your nipple and milk supply. If they are too big then you will not be getting the correct stimulation for your milk. The flange should suck in your nipple and pretty much your entire areola (the circle around your nipple.) Even if you plan on exclusively nursing, having a breast pump on hand is important for multiple reasons. It can help bring your milk in faster, it can help increase your milk supply, it can help with clogged milk ducts, it can help with engorgement, the list can go on and on. Having one can relieve a lot of stress, especially if nursing isn’t quite happening at the start. Look into seeing if your insurance will cover one for you, a lot do.

9. Hemorrhoid Cream and Tucks Pads- You may not get hemorrhoids after giving birth, so these may be things you can hold off on buying until after you get home. You’ll be grateful for them though if you do need them. The hospital may be able to supply them for you too.

10. Tylenol and Ibuprofen- Make sure your medicine cabinet is all ready to go to help manage your pain. You will most likely be prescribed a pain medication, but when your pain starts to lessen, and you don’t feel you need pain medication for it, but you’re still uncomfortable than Tylenol and Ibuprofen should help manage that.

11. Ice Packs– Make sure you have some ice packs on hand. You can make manipulative ice packs by mixing ¼ cup rubbing alcohol and ¾ cups water into a quart size freezer bag and then freeze. The rubbing alcohol makes the water not freeze completely, so it’s not so hard and easily manipulated.

12. Stool Softeners– Your doctor will most likely prescribe these for you, but if not, you’ll definitely want some of these. You may want to keep some MiraLAX on hand as well. That first bowel movement after giving birth can be quite brutal.

13. Peri Bottle– You will most likely get this from the hospital, but if not, you’ll wish you had one. This helps so much with cleaning yourself up “down there” without hurting yourself.

14. Breastmilk Freezer Bags- Once your milk comes in you will have a lot more milk than your baby will eat, so you will want to freeze the extra to start a good milk supply. Make sure you lay them flat to freeze, so they will thaw quicker and be easier to store.

15. Healthy, Easy Snacks-You’ll realize very quickly that the hardest thing to do after having a baby is finding time to eat. Drinking isn’t a problem, because for some reason you are beyond thirsty after you give birth. Eating though, is a lot harder to accomplish. Make sure before you come home from the hospital that you have easy, ready to grab food like granola bars, apples, bananas, nuts, protein bars, trail mix, grapes, carrots, etc. Put them out on your table where you can see them to help remind you to eat.

Well, I think that’s everything. Some of these things you may not need, so you might want to wait and if you do end up needing them you can just send your husband to the store to buy them after you get home from the hospital.

You may want to make sure you take some of these things to the hospital with you as well. Nursing pads, and a nursing bra are a must. Everything else the hospital should provide for you. The hospital does have nursing pads there, but they are not absorbent at all and are like cardboard.

I hope this is helpful. If you have anything else you’d like to add I’d love to hear it.

 

Before you delivery your baby you make sure you have everything you need for when you come home from the hospital, but you can often forget what you need afterwards. Here is a list of all the things you'll need for yourself. tessatomom.com

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